Gratitude

What is gratitude? Webster defines it as the state of being grateful. Webster defines grateful as being appreciative of benefits received. I was told the other day that this specific person wasn’t grateful for anything. He wanted a new house, his was too small. He wanted a new car, his ran when it wanted to. He didn’t like the food that was placed in front of him, and it went on and on. Then it hit me, people now days don’t know how lucky they have it. You have a house that meets your needs. It might be small, but it keeps you warm, dry, and sheltered from the outside. You have a car that gets you where you need to go. It may need to be painted, it may need new upholstery, a new part in the engine, may run rough, who knows. That car may not be beautiful, but it meets your needs. Food, just be grateful that you have food. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. There are many people in this world who do not have food. Children who are starving, and dying each day because they have no parents, or their parents can’t provide for them. There are mothers who die because they give what little bit of food they can scrounge up to their children because they have that love for them. Be grateful that you have that food, even if you don’t like it.

My thoughts, you may not have the most fancy things in the world, but you have a family who loves you and your needs are met. Be thankful for that.

Do NOT panic!

Remember those words, they could save your life. Driving home from karate this afternoon, I had an asthma attack. It wasn't my worst one on record, but it gets a little frightening when you're driving and suddenly are having a hard time breathing. Especially when you're driving through a busy intersection when it hits. I kept hearing "Don't panic" in the back of my head. Sensei has said those words many many many times in class. So, I pulled off the road, grabbed my inhaler, took it, and within 5 minutes was back on the road heading back home. My asthma, thankfully, is well controlled. So, my inhaler usually does the trick. However, I was still short of breath, so I took my nebulizer. Still short of breath, so I went to the doctor, where he gave me prednisone. But not panicking may have saved my life this afternoon.

Dear Diary

Oh my goodness, has it really been over a month since I've written in my blog? Real life has definitely gotten in the way. Let's see, I tore my MCL, David got new leg braces and diagnoses with Spondylolithesis and has to wear a back brace, had a few nights out with the girls, opened my crochet website finally, and am now gearing up for the race and sky diving next week. Life has definitely been hectic. Great but hectic!

Relaxation

With everything going so fast in our quick paced lives, sometimes we miss the little things that keep us sane. Relaxation time being the first thing on our list that goes. Don't forget to relax, even if it's sitting in front of the tv with a cup of coffee thinking about nothing, relax (not that I'm condoning tv or coffee.)

We've had a stressful week this week. Our son was diagnosed with a spinal disorder and was put in a back-brace on top of his ankle braces. It's hard as a parent to see your 5 year old going through this, at the same time, he thinks it's normal. He thinks all kids go through this, because we've never told him any different. At the same time, he needs a break, free of his "issues". We took a day trip to the beach with a friend. Hit 2 different beaches, the aquarium, and a fort all in a 5 hour span. Relaxed at the beach, listened to the waves, watched him play in the sand, care-free and feel so refreshed this morning.

My thoughts: You need to rest and relax every once in a while. Take a trip to a museum, an aquarium, a park, drink a cup of coffee. What ever it is you do to relax, do it once a week. Free from cares, free from responsibilities, free from worry. Relax.

Worry and suspicion

Webster gives "suspicion" many different definitions, but the one that I will be talking on now is Mistrust, mental uneasiness and uncertainty.

Webster also gives "worry" many different definitions, but I will be looking at this one, to feel or experience concern or anxiety.

These two words are more alike than one would imagine when looking at the emotions behind of them.

I was listening to Elvis's "Suspicious Minds." I have loved the song since I was little, but this was the first time I really really listened to the words, from an adults stand point. My first thought was "If you feel like you're in a trap, the relationship is already doomed." Relationships shouldn't be boring, they shouldn't be mundane, or make you feel trapped. Relationships are supposed to be enthusiastic, loving, and most important, free. If you're worried your partner or friend is doing something bad/wrong than it sets your mind frame negative for the day. You shouldn't feel anxiety over a friendship.

The Bible says in Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"

1 Peter 5:7 says "cast all of your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."

The Bible is telling you not to worry about things that are out of your control. Send those to God and move on, he will take care of them.

Abraham Lincoln once said "Do not worry that you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition." Take this to heart. I belt tested this last month and had a lot of anxiety, frustrations, anger, and worry all rolled up into 1 full week. If I had read this quote before the test, I wonder if it would have saved me from some serious stress?? It's possible. Lincoln was a great man, and had great ideas. He was a man before him time in the truest sense of the statement. Things are not always about you, things can sometimes be about everyone else. But at the same time, don't worry too much about yourself because when the world becomes "me, me, me" is when people get greedy, which leads to conflict we don't need. George Washington said that "Worry is interest in those who borrow trouble." Which confirms my previous statement.

Suspicion is just as bad. Once you start suspecting people of wrong doings, you become paranoid that everything they do is bad. This turns to hatred, and in some extreme cases prejudices. James Monroe said "Preparation of war is a constant stimulus to suspicion and ill will." People are always watching you. Whether you're in the store, Church, work, or school, people are watching you. It's very important not to give them any reason to be suspicious of you.

My thoughts: Live freely and love freely. If you have a problem or worry, pray on it and leave it at God's door. I write, writing is my outlet of stress and worry. This after praying on the matter.

My theme song

I think everyone needs a theme song.

As a teenager, mine and my sister's was "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Just because I was the opposite of the song. It reminded me of what I didn't want to do or be. I can't speak for her, but I just think she liked it because it was the only time she was "allowed" to curse....lol.

As I got older, graduated high school, it became "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw. "I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind. I'm tired of looking around rooms wondering what I'm supposed to do and who I'm supposed to be. I don't wanna be anything other than me." The song just reminded me that I'm unique. I'm who I'm supposed to be at this point in my life. That's one thing that aggravates me, people who pretend to be someone just so that they're popular or liked. I can't stand that.

Then when I graduated college it became "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson. I was a CMA, and at one point during my career I was debating on becoming registered as well. I just wanted to help people whether it be physically, mentally, errands, monetary donations etc. I just wanted to find my purpose in life, and I believed and still hold the belief that that is what God put me on this Earth to do. To help people.

I got married and it became "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks. I strive to let my husband know every day that he's the light of my life. I love him and tell him as often as possible. While he works, I estimate we talk somewhere between 3-10 times a day, each and every time I hang up, I tell him I love him, because I don't want that lingering. What if that were the last conversation we ever have? I want the last thing that he hears me say to be "I love you."

I had David and he was a special needs child, the song became "Standing Outside the Fire" by Garth Brooks. This music video is a teen boy who has Downs Syndrome, it starts out with the mother letting him drive (rather badly) to school. The next scene, he's signing up for track and field day, on the "normal" list. The coach takes the pen and nods to the "Special Olympics" signs-ups. He bites his lip and adds his name to the "normal" list (I use that word loosely) The mother was his biggest supporter, drove beside of him while he ran on the side walk training, encouraging, while behind closed doors fought with the father who wanted him to not participate. The day of the race, the father is in the stands, the race begins, the son is slower and lags behind. The father puts his head down and gets up to leave while the mother is still cheering him on. The son trips, falls and the father and mother both are racing to get to their son. The boy is bloody, face bloody looks up at the father, and he changes his tune "Get up, you're not finished" encouraging him to get up and finish the race, not to give up. The son gets up, and the father runs with him to the finish line where the mother is waiting and hugs them both. One of the best music videos I have ever seen. Anyone who knows me knows that's how I am with David. I never let him give up and always encourage him. To this day, I still get teary when I think about all of the times I've fought for him to not be labeled "special"

We started Karate and it became the very cliche "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas. Just because it was fun, the song was great to listen to and it was on the sound track of the very popular "Kung Fu Panda"

Now, it's the children's song "He's Still Working on me" written by Joel Hemphill. "He's still working one me. To make me what I ought to be. It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient he must be, he's still working on me." That's true. God puts me in new situations each day and then I learn from that situation. I learn how to make myself better, even if it's just something as simple as thinking on my feet, to something as complex as not misinterpreting words said. I have been working for years to better myself, I just learned now, I'm not the only one working on me. Sensei is working to give me the spiritual aspect of karate, it's not just learning the karate, it's building my character. I'm working on me, taking what I learn in karate and applying it to my life. God's working on me, to make me a better soul. I am so blessed to have people who love me enough to tell me I need work and help me to complete the work.

So, those are my theme songs, what are yours?

Excitement

As I have finally gotten my little man in bed and asleep, I'm taken back to a time when excitement was waking up to a fresh new day.

The first winter's snow you couldn't wait to get outside and play in. The caterpillar climbing up the branch of a tree was new to us, then learning how it turned into a butterfly. Trying to catch the fireflies on a warm summer's night and putting them in jars to watch them light up. The first day of school, the first A on your math test, the first day of spring break, graduation. Why do you lose the excitement as you grow older?

Life? People tend to blame their loss of excitement to life itself. Life doesn't make you bitter, life throws you lemons, yes, but what do you do with them is what makes lemonade or withered up lemons. I've had a hard life. A lot harder than some people, not as hard as others. I grew up the oldest of 3, worked my way through college, married, worked my husband through college, worked, had a baby, stay at home with the baby. In between I bought a house and 2 cars by the time I was 22 years old. Life didn't make me bitter. I'm still sitting up with my 5 year old watching out the window for a glance of that first snow flake. Granted when it accumulates and I have to drive in it, that excitement goes out the window. But I am his biggest fan and he is my biggest fan. He gets excited when he sees me excel in karate and I'm excited when he excels. If you want to know what excitement is, look into his face when he gets his new stripe on his belt. Look into his face when it snows. Look into his face when he gets to buy his own book or toy at the store. Look into his face when he walks his new doggie. Look into his face when he sees something new and different. He is my bread and butter, the next generation to walk on this Earth. He is my excitement, everything I wished I could be and everything I am wrapped up into a little 5 year old body. How can you not be excited??

I have been working on me for 4 years now, and the thing that I keep coming up with is I'm losing my child like quality. I'm maturing and growing but losing hold of that wonder. I have to make a conscious effort to praise my son each day. I'm working on me. I'm not done yet and won't be for another 60+ years. I spend a lot of time with kids, and slowly they are teaching. Teaching me how to regain my ease at acting crazy, relieve the awkwardness of performing in front of people and most of all, they are teaching me how to have fun doing the thing you love, karate. How can you not be excited to be able to do what you love and love what you do?