Family

You can't chose your family, but if you could, would you chose differently?

Growing up, my parents were strict on me, much so that I really didn't have much freedom until I was 16 and able to date. I didn't go to sleep overs unless it was at a Church. I wasn't allowed to go to friends houses unless there was a birthday party and a female adult present. My mom was so nervous about something inappropriate happening that I lost out on a lot of my childhood. So would I re-choose my mom?

Growing up, my dad was an alcoholic. He still is and we see no end to the alcoholism. He used to hit us when we refused to bring him another drink. I remember being in Jr. High and him going through a 6 pack of beer from the time I got home from school to the time we went to bed.

So, would I re-choose my dad?

Growing up, my middle sister was my best friend. We're 2 years apart and that was great but my baby sister, to me, was a baby. We fought and fought, we never got along. Me and the middle sister swapped boyfriends a few times (without asking the other if it was ok) So, would I re-choose my sisters?

No. The events that happened to me in the past shaped who I am today. My mom not allowing me to go to sleep overs could have been a blessing. Back then pedophiles weren't as common as today, but if she wasn't as cautious with me would I be as cautious with my son?

If my dad didn't drink heavily, would I know the effects of alcoholism on the family? You can hear it, but you don't know it until you live it. I don't touch alcohol because of him, it's not even allowed in my home. I'm saving my son from growing up with the same situation. But, my dad bought me my first car, even though it was OLD, it was mine. He let me live in my first home, his trailer that he rented out, free of rent. He gave me life and a step in the world. There is always good in the bad. My sisters are now my closest friends. We grew up together and love each other. Me and the middle sister have children and we swap stories and views on parenthood. I get most of my advice from my mom. Yes, the person who I thought was so strict I go to for parenting advice. Why? She's my mom, she's lived through it. If she didn't deal with it, she knew someone who has because she's older and wiser. Sometimes, you just need another person's view point.

The events of your past shape who you are now. If you're striving to better yourself, you will learn from your mistakes and other people's mistakes. I don't do something because I've learned from my past that it has a negative impact on the family.

My thoughts: It is what it is? No. It is what you want it to be. Yes. There is always a good side to the bad side. You have to look at any situation positively and keep up your moral and hope. And smile! Don't wish to have a different family. They may be weird, annoying, crazy, frustrating and insane, but they're mine and I wouldn't change it for the world. Use your past to make your future better.