stress and frustrations

How many have been stressed, raise your hands?

I have been too many times this week to count. Frustrated at my son (who hasn't been with his week) frustrated with my husband, the mail, bills, belt testing, busy scheduling. The list goes on and on.

As a medical assistant, I know the bad effects of stress. High blood pressure, heart damage, strokes, migraines, ocular migraines, anemia, and kidney malfunctions. So, when I know the effects why can't I stay calm and rational?

It's situational. When you're in public and your child starts tantruming, can you just sit in the floor and meditate away that stressor? Well, you can but you'd get a few stares and possibly sent off to the loony bin. So in that situation, do you give in to the child and let them have said cause for tantrum? No, you calmly and rationally, in terms a child can understand, explain why they can't have said toy/cereal/cookie etc etc etc and keep going. If they keep screaming, it's ok. Sometimes they have to cry, just like adults sometimes just have to cry. Crying is a release of stress and frustration, and it's ok to cry. It's ok to have a tantrum in the store, just don't give in to it.

When you're at home and your child has a tantrum can you sit in the floor and meditate? Yes you can. You have many many rooms you can send the child to and sit down and relax while they're in their tantrum. I have found that putting my son in his room for 2-4 minutes and just meditating while he's screaming has made me better equipped to handle the situation when he's out. (Rule of thumb, 1 minute per year of age in time-out because kids have no concept of time)

So in situations where you can't remove the stressor and can't meditate what can you do?

1. You can ignore the stressor. That's basically what you're doing in public when your child is in tantrum mode. You explain why they can't have it and ignore the crying. Your child isn't the stressor, don't ignore your child. The crying is the stressor, ignore the crying.

2. You can pray for strength. You can pray anywhere at anytime. You don't have to close your eyes, you don't have to take you attention off of anything, just sit and have a conversation with your god (who ever it may be) and work things out, you may feel better.

3. Take a deep breath and count to 10. This is a shortened form of meditation I do countless times a day and it really really works. You need that 10 seconds to gather yourself and act accordingly.

4. Drink some water. It will give you an excuse to leave the stressor, if you have your significant other with you, and by the time you've gotten back, should be feeling better about the situation. If you're not with your significant other, rummage through your purse. You don't have to be looking for anything per say, just something to get your mind off of until you can relax enough to handle the situation. I do this countless times "looking for my phone"

5. Listen to music. If you're not somewhere where you can pop on the head phones, sing the song in your head or to yourself.

Techniques when you can separate yourself from your stressor

1. Meditation. I do this a lot, especially in karate. not necessarily for stress but for relaxation. Sit in the floor with your legs crossed, left hand in right hand, thumbs touching and triangle breath. Breathe in through your nose, hold it for 3 counts, and breathe out. Wait 3 counts before you take another breath. You really only need about 30 seconds of this and you feel relaxed.

2. Yoga. I haven't tried it but have heard great things about it.

3. Massage. This doesn't have to be by a professional. Your significant other can do it for you. Find some nice smelling massage oil, I recommend anything with chamomile and lavender.

4. Drink some herbal tea, again, I recommend chamomile.

5. Exercise. Grab a bag and your gloves and beat the bag. Kick it, beat it, exercise. Aerobics is another great form of exercise to help work out those frustrations and stresses. I tend to do bag work if I'm stressed enough to need to exercise.

6. Write. Sometimes writing down your stress factors, frustrations, and feelings on both of them can make you feel better. Sometimes writing can help you work through a specific problem.

7. Take a hot bubble bath. Who doesn't feel better after a hot bath. Add some bubbles, maybe some sparkling cider or grape juice, back and listen to some soft music.

Hopefully there was something in here you guys can take away from this writing to help you remove your stress and frustrations through out the day.