My mother's father, my grandfather, had a stroke in December of 1991. This came a few months after my grandmother's death, September of that year. Essentially we lost him that day. He was paralyzed on his left side. No longer able to be his grumpy self. I don't think he recognized me after the stroke. Before the stroke was a mean man......lol But oh how I loved him. He had a girl chihuahua named "Brownie" who went with him every where, and I do mean every where. He ran the fish lake, and some of my favorite memories were of him making bait. Peanut butter and corn pops. Weird, but it attracted the fish. He used to call me "meanie" and my sister "pretty girl" Kerri had long hair and he told mom if she ever cut it he wouldn't talk to her again. Kerri still wears her hair long. My grandmother would make coffee for him. He would pour his coffee into the saucer and drink out of the saucer with his biscuit. I asked him one time why he did that and that was the only time he answered me without being narky. He said it cooled the coffee down so it wouldn't burn him. He passed away in April of 1994.
December 13th 2004, my uncle Charlie passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack. I was 8 months pregnant with David, on bed-rest, not allowed to leave the bed but drove 3 hours home to be with my family. David dropped the night of the wake. I remember I was given a chair to sit in so I'd be off my feet, stood up to go to the restroom, looked down, and my belly was very very low. I was still having contractions but went to his funeral. Uncle Charlie was an amazing man. He was a Vet, served his country proud, a volunteer fire-fighter and an avid Lions Club member. He used to hand out calendars at Christmas time that would have everyone's birthday on the date so we would always be able to contact and wish happy birthdays. Towards the end, he was in an electric wheel chair. The part that gets me the most is Uncle Charlie was so excited that I was having a boy. We have all girls on that side, he was so excited that he would have a boy to ride in his chair with. He passed away 15 days before David was born. He never got to meet him. But I have something wonderful. Everyone who has seen pictures of my Uncle Charlie as a child say David looks like him. I see the family traits and the alikeness between the two. I am so thankful that I have David as a reminder of that time. Uncle Charlie passed away on his daughter Pam's birthday and his niece Becky's birthday, two days before his birthday, December 15, 1942. He was 52 years old.
December 13th, 1912 my grandmother Lizzie Irene Compton was born. The oldest girl of 8 kids. Her mother passed away when she was young, so instead of finishing school she became mother to her littler siblings. She married my grandfather (I have no idea of when, I think around the mid to late 1930's due to my oldest uncle's birthday.) My grandfather, Marion Lee Rogers was born in February 1912. He also only had up to an 8th grade education, but he was very smart. He worked in the mill, working on the loom. My grandmother had taken old shuttles and made flower arrangements out of them. ( I'm bringing my grandfather into this story about my grandmother because A. you really can't talk about one without the other, and B. you will see the anniversary in a moment.) They had a love that was eternal and as a young child I could see that. He called her "Cap" not sure why, my theory is it's a nickname for "Chap" because she was so small. I'm taller and bigger than she was. He was a farmer. Killed their own animals for food, grew their own fruit and veggies. Even sold them for income. She was a house wife, helped on the farm if he needed her to, took care of the kids and him. My dad said he would take her to the market and ask her if there was anything she needed. She would always say "no" because she was such an unselfish woman. He would ask if she needed a new dress or pots, she again would say "No" They would come home with something for her. Love beyond all reason. December 16th, 1990, my grandfather passed away. He was bedfast and diabetic. I helped my grandmother take care of him towards the end of his life. I would help bathe him and feed him. I was 7-8 years old. In November of 1990, I believe, he had his right leg amputated. He had a bedsore that would not heal. Daddy always said once he lost his leg, he lost his life and will to live. It made it final that he would never get up and walk again, do the things he loved. He was 78 years old. I remember when my parents told me. They were called to the hospital late, dad went. I remember them waking me up late and I knew what had happened, I can't tell you how, I just knew. Me and my cousin Alan spent the next few years staying with her at night. We would switch off days, and if one couldn't make it, the other would fill in or would bring her to our house for the night. I lived in walking distance from her and my cousin, that wasn't an issue. But we did as she did before us, became caregivers to her. I decided to be a CMA because of her. I didn't want her in a nursing home, so I went to college. I remember she fell and hit her head one day. I was called from my house (I was neighbors with mom and dad, and my uncle at the time) raced up there, and was taking vitals by the time the EMS got there. She wanted me to go with her, so I rode in the front of the Ambulance as we were going to the ER. This woman was feisty, and I mean feisty. I am tame compared to her. She kept yelling at the EMT to go slower, the bumps were hurting her. That's the woman I knew. But that day our world was shattered. They found she had lung cancer, August 2000. We were told that there was chemo we could do but it was strenuous, so we opted for Hospice. This was the first time I had been introduced to hospice and it was a good experience. But she kept hanging on. I remember her being in so much pain, morphine wasn't touching it. You couldn't touch her or she would scream. She stopped eating sometime in December. I remember dropping to my knees crying, begging God to take her away from the pain she was in. But we all knew what was happening. Eternal love beyond the grave. She was waiting on my grandfather to come for her. He did, a few hours before his 10 year anniversary of passing. She lost her battle with lung cancer December 15, 2000.
December 29, 2008, Nana (Nick's grandmother) was admitted into the hospital in Charlotte. I remember we had Christmas that year on David's birthday, but we didn't go because I don't like to do Christmas and birthdays on the same day. I regret that decision now. It would have been the last time we would have gotten to see her well and up. I'm not sure of why she was admitted, or what she passed from, but that decision haunts me.
Now let's talk about the good things.
December 4th, My (Nick's really) cousin Ricky's birthday December 7th My (Nick's) cousin's 2nd birthday
December 8th, my niece's (Nick's) 3rd birthday
December 11th, my cousin's (Nick's), I believe my cousin will be having a 10th wedding anniversary this day as well.
December 13th, I have 2 cousins on this day, Pam and Becky
December 24th, my uncle's birthday
December 28th, David's 5th birthday
December 30th, my cousin (Nick) birthday
Jacob or/and John Paul are in here somewhere. I'm not sure where.
Look at all the children in this month. It's amazing that bad memories can be over shadowed by the good. I do something with David, it starts on the 13th for a reason. I do what's called the 12 days of Christmas. 13-24th of December, David gets to open a present each day. Look at the 13th, it's easy to see why I picked that day. This is my way of keeping the holiday spirit in my home, not mope at the season, and bring joy to my son. I honor the memory of those who passed, and keep Christmas about Jesus's birth because that's what the season is about, of course, but they were, and we are Christians.
My thoughts, don't dwell on the past. The past is the past because it has passed. The present is a present, and the future you are not guaranteed. This is the season for love unconditional and I see a lot of that in my family. So while you're rushing to buy gifts and stressed out because you don't have enough money to pay for the gifts, stop and think about what's important. Is the gifts? No, it's the togetherness you have, because trust me when I say this may be the last time you have it. I love you all, and have a Merry Christmas.
Posts
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment