Excitement

As I have finally gotten my little man in bed and asleep, I'm taken back to a time when excitement was waking up to a fresh new day.

The first winter's snow you couldn't wait to get outside and play in. The caterpillar climbing up the branch of a tree was new to us, then learning how it turned into a butterfly. Trying to catch the fireflies on a warm summer's night and putting them in jars to watch them light up. The first day of school, the first A on your math test, the first day of spring break, graduation. Why do you lose the excitement as you grow older?

Life? People tend to blame their loss of excitement to life itself. Life doesn't make you bitter, life throws you lemons, yes, but what do you do with them is what makes lemonade or withered up lemons. I've had a hard life. A lot harder than some people, not as hard as others. I grew up the oldest of 3, worked my way through college, married, worked my husband through college, worked, had a baby, stay at home with the baby. In between I bought a house and 2 cars by the time I was 22 years old. Life didn't make me bitter. I'm still sitting up with my 5 year old watching out the window for a glance of that first snow flake. Granted when it accumulates and I have to drive in it, that excitement goes out the window. But I am his biggest fan and he is my biggest fan. He gets excited when he sees me excel in karate and I'm excited when he excels. If you want to know what excitement is, look into his face when he gets his new stripe on his belt. Look into his face when it snows. Look into his face when he gets to buy his own book or toy at the store. Look into his face when he walks his new doggie. Look into his face when he sees something new and different. He is my bread and butter, the next generation to walk on this Earth. He is my excitement, everything I wished I could be and everything I am wrapped up into a little 5 year old body. How can you not be excited??

I have been working on me for 4 years now, and the thing that I keep coming up with is I'm losing my child like quality. I'm maturing and growing but losing hold of that wonder. I have to make a conscious effort to praise my son each day. I'm working on me. I'm not done yet and won't be for another 60+ years. I spend a lot of time with kids, and slowly they are teaching. Teaching me how to regain my ease at acting crazy, relieve the awkwardness of performing in front of people and most of all, they are teaching me how to have fun doing the thing you love, karate. How can you not be excited to be able to do what you love and love what you do?